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The Gattuso's 7 government reform

Gattuso illustrates his program of government between the Cutronian minority and the Borini Act

The Gattuso's 7 government reform Gattuso illustrates his program of government between the Cutronian minority and the Borini Act

In the post-game of Lazio-Milan something rather surreal happened. The barrier that separates football from politics broke in an undefined spot on the glass due to a pick of Matteo Salvini, a well-known Rossonero fan: the Minister was at the Stadio Olimpico to follow the match and, after the final whistle, launched a tough attack on Gennaro Gattuso and his way of managing the race; the coach at the press conference responded to Salvini telling him to deal with the problems of the country, thus triggering a whirlwind of amazement and meme.

Then, Salvini could also have responded to Gattuso to take care of football, thus starting a call and response that would have remembered more a tennis match than a football match. And Gattuso, in turn, could also collect that invitation and begin to deal with politics. From here, the question: which line would the Milan coach follow? How would your Government do? We just have to reason by hypothesis, given the absurdity of the thing.

Political background 
The Gattuso government, after obtaining 30% of the votes in the national elections, wins the majority in the two chambers thanks to the decisive support of + Europa League, determined to believe in the Rossoneri rebirth after the return to the party of Maldini, historical European exponent. After this small but necessary clarification, here are the possible reforms promised in the election campaign (to be kept distinct from the purchase campaign, even if it is often decisive for winning the elections):

#1 La Buona Porta (The Good Save)

Attempt to lower the spread by keeping the door inviolate as much as possible, with the stated objective of reducing the gap between the clean sheets of Milan and the Bund of Bayern Monaco. The young Minister Donnarumma in this sense would play a decisive role, even if without the help of the Defense Commission everything could be more complicated. In this case + Europa League is not convinced to support the reform, then changes its mind when a post is given to its secretary Pepe Reina. The law passes and Milan does not suffer more goals for the rest of the season.


#2 Health Reform

In order to try to minimize the injuries of players, lately in drastic increase, the Gattuso government invests a lot of taxpayers' money in medical research for the prevention of injuries. A long-term goal that in politics, as in football, hardly pays: + Europa League supports tight-fitting reform, but Milan players continue to injure themselves in the short term. The lawmaker rossonero back on the subject a few months later, devolving part of that expenditure to the care of accidents. With the complete rehabilitation of Romagnoli relations are relaxed and the Government alliance holds.

#3 Relations with Sweden

In this case the reform is promoted by the + Europa League, with Reina clamoring to go ahead as much as possible in European competitions, the only way in her opinion to get back to the country that international blazon now lost (and play a few more games). The Gattuso government decided to concentrate its efforts in a surprise alliance with Sweden, which in the meantime became an absolute monarchy under the expert guidance of King Zlatan I. King Zlatan I agrees to return to Milan, where he had been a few years before, to solve the team's offensive problems. The Cutronians turn up their noses, but then seeing the excellent results obtained on the field thanks to King Zlatan I are calmed (and in any case they get in exchange for weekly lessons on how to score backheel goals from a remarkable distance).

#4 Borini Act

A law designed to increase jobs by deploying players in the strangest areas of the field to get them away owners, strongly desired by the Minister Borini. The Cutronian wing thus finds itself having to play right from the wing, but at least the unemployment rate decreases. Thus, from the reserve of Calabria, the Minister Abate reinvents himself central defender and finds more space. Then, however, the effects of the health counter-reform begin to be felt, the defenders return to the situation and the Abatian minority gives life to an internal split that will then lead it to join forces with Forza Monza, the new party of Silvio Berlusconi.


#5 Open museums

Milan has so many things to show to the fans and the Gattuso government decides to give free access for under-Donnarumma (all born after 1999) to the Casa Milan museums every second Sunday of the month. Reforms welcomed also by the + Europa League, which would like to be represented and photographed one day on the Rossoneri shelves.

#6 Abolition of the panettone tax

The government Gattuso with a single maneuver first gives tax incentives for those presidents who take more time a coach on a bench, then tear down the VAT on panettone thus allowing all the technicians to eat plenty of it in the Christmas period. Preziosi does not agree with the reform and, regardless of the very high penalties to be paid for those who exonerate a coach, dismisses Juric on purpose despite the excellent position in the standings, obviously recalling Ballardini.



#7 Millepunte (thousend-forwards) decree

After fielding at the same time Cutrone and Higuain and obtaining surprising results, the Gattuso government tries the surprise move to completely reform the football allowing each team to be able to line up a number of unspecified points in the moment in which is at a disadvantage. A visionary reform, perhaps even too much: + Europa League puts across and rejects the decree, thus interrupting the alliance. The Gattuso government falls, and after a couple of days of quick consultations in the FIGC the leadership of the country is entrusted to Forza Monza, with the minister Abate who manages to return to the government.

The end.