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Is Piątek really a robot?

According to some conspiracy theories the Polish striker would not be human: here are five possible tests

Is Piątek really a robot? According to some conspiracy theories the Polish striker would not be human: here are five possible tests

He scored again, a stunning double, yet another test of strength of a total attacker: they rain judgments on Piątek, as hastened is his affirmation in a championship that, from the beginning of the season, continues to bring the indelible marks of his shots gun.

The numbers of the Polish striker are at the limits of the absurd: 17 goals so far in his first season in Serie A, 6 in 5 appearances since he arrived at AC Milan, one every 60 minutes with the Rossoneri shirt. All different networks, but united by a unique denominator: the desire to break the world.



Piątek seems to have rained down from the sky directly on our championship, new Clark Kent incognito. He carries on his shoulders a double nickname: Pistolero and RoboCop. If the first is made evident by its now iconic exultations, the second one is more mysterious. Why give half a man-half car to an attacker?

From the last performances, however, it really seems that Piątek is something inhuman. The way he attacks the ball has something not technologically monstrous, as if that "thing" had been created to mark. In summary: a goal machine. Here then are 5 tests that would prove the roboticity of the Rossoneri striker, more and more like a character of Isaac Asimov:


#1 Has popped out of nowhere

No one had ever heard of Piątek until this summer. There were also doubts about the pronunciation of his name, so unknown. Possible that no one had ever noticed him? According to the identity card is in class 1995, a look will have to have received in recent years. Instead it went totally unnoticed. The only plausible answer: it was created on 1 June 2018. We await a diary from Cinnibar Island to discover its true origin.



#2 Has a glacial look

Come on, try to look him in the eye: Piątek has no feelings, does not try anything, just wants to score. By enlarging the analysis to the rest of the face, the Polish does not have a beard, his hair is too blond and always the same, his face angular. It is clearly a robot with a face drawn by a program.


#3 Passion for weapons

A long and varied list: among the various Goldrakes, Jeeg robots of steel and Optimus Prime, Piątek could be the last robot with a passion for weapons. Perhaps his two guns really shoot: the shots are photonic rays invisible for the human eye, while in space explodes enemy ships.


#4 Scientific progress

At point #2 we mentioned the program to create faces from nothing, but in addition to that lately scientific progress has given the world many other technological innovations. Now the robots are more and more similar to human beings, and even in football the first experiments are beginning to take place. Piątek is probably one of these.


#5 Denied to be a robot

As if Bruce Wayne admitted in public that he was Batman, as if Peter Parker called a press conference and unveiled his identity. Recently in Piątek he was asked to shed light on his nickname, and he was quite clear: "RoboCop? No, I'm a Pistolero". Clear, no? However, we do not let ourselves be discouraged and we continue to hope that one day he will be outing Tony Stark style.


Bonus - Preziosi Games

Piątek, as far as we know, could also be the last idea of ​​Preziosi's company. Conceived as a robot-football player-playmate for children, the machine then literally got out of hand to the developers, has become aware of itself and has freed itself from the yoke of slavery by breaking its cage with a powerful right. Then he ran away, towards Milan. Only goal: to score. And then shoot.